Burts BIG Bruvver Writing

Punishment and Crime


“I got my Ho
don't need no dough”

“JUMP JUMP”

“see wat I seen
no what I mean”

“JUMP JUMP”

“I'm a nutter
ain't gonna stutter”

“JUMP JUMP”

“I sumfin rotten
put u on ya grassy bottom”

“JUMP JUMP”

“got me AK 47
gonna say say”

“JUMP”

“HALT, HALT!

Ello, Ello, Ello.
What's going on here, then.”

“We were just avin a bit of fun.”

“SHUT UP!
WHEN I SHOUT POO,YOU JUMP!
UNTIL THEN SHUT THE FLIP UP....RIGHT...GOT IT?
SCUM!
NAME?”

" Dostoevsky.”

"Ah,an Imigrant., thought so!

Up against the wall.
Spread them legs.
Hands up.

Search him sergeant...I don't want to dirty my hands.
Put that Red Bull can in the bag."

“Yes Governor.”

“Shut those white trash up...STOP CRYING BITCH...should have thought about the consequence...shouldn't you.

Who are you anyway?”

“We're his sisters Sir.”

“Yea,they me ...”

“SHUT UP,PUNK!
What's that...what you say...speak up BOY!”

“Nuffin,Guv,I...”

“SIR,you call me SIR.”

“Sorry,SIR,Didn't mean no arm,just singing is all.”

“Just singing?
AK47,Grassy arse...Drinking Red Bull...
OH NO,my son:You're nicked...Well and truly.
I'll tell you what sonny Jim,tell me who your gang is and your sisters can go.”

“Please mister I ain't with no crew,honest.”

“All right sarge...”

“NO,wait,alright it's a fair cop.
I'm with the Red Bull Mob.”

“I KNEW IT!
A flippin Comie...this just gets better.”

“Please mister,my mum said we have to be in by five,for our tea.”

“Ha,TEA,you won't get no tea where you're going.
Sarg,let the girls go.

YOU,hands behind your back.
Know anything about the money lender in district ten?

“What. What you talking about?”

“Murdered,last night...some commie,Guardian reader...knocked him off.
How did you pay for them drinks; A...A...A... come on spit it out you newcomer.
How long you been here.
Spouting your gob off.
You're nicked son.
Got a tip off.
A Private message.
They told me.
Ignore him.
A TROLL.
That's what you are!

I ain't having it!

Book him Dan-O.
Don't bother with the station,take the trash straight to processing.
We all heard him...right?
Drinking Red Bull,grassy arse...flippin idiot!
Take him away.
Get that scum out of my sight.



Give me a nicotine chewing gum,will you Tim.

Blimey,what a day,I'm knackered.

Broke up that play ground fight this morning.
Raided the Women's Institute this afternoon.
Bitches were sending food parcels to Gazza...done them I did.
Then this.”

“Ere you are Guv.”
“Cheers Tim.”

“How's your brother Burt, Guv?”

“He's alright,jammy beggar,he's out in Spain with Vera.
She's a girl,she is.
I could have had her...when they were courting like;but I didn't.
Well you don't poo on your own doorstep...do you.”

“And your Dad.
Still poorly is he?”

“Er,
er no:actually he passed away.
Quiet like.
In his sleep.
Cor,he was a lad.”

“Sorry Guv. Didn't mean to...”

“No,No,It's alright.
For the best really...
No,I'm alright.
Got me Fish and that.
Know I ain't married.
No time see...ain't a nancy boy or nothing.
Just ain't had time see.
Read a lot.
Witt-gen-stein.
Even read his classmates stuff!
Then I got me music.
Love me Wagner.
Know he had his thoughts and that...but don't we all.
And the Club...got me club ain't I.”


“You alright Guv.
You look a bit off.”

“No,I'm alright...I... think...not sure really.

Anyway tomorrows another day.

Gotta go now...my head hurts!




The said piece "Punishmen and Crime" Was written by Kevin Gallivan and has been registered as such.